A few years ago, I felt the Lord calling me to lead a particular women’s group at the church I was attending at the time. I considered it a challenge because there was a lot of negativity among some of these women, and at the time, I was suffering from the same disease.
I had prayed for myself and this group, that we would come together as sisters in Christ and work together for the cause of His Kingdom. But I didn’t know quite how to handle the topic of negativity without causing a riot.
We gathered together one Saturday for our monthly meeting, and it was the same. I tried to gain control of the conversation, but even during our devotional time, some of them were making smart comments to each other, being sarcastic, and criticizing each other’s ideas. I watched and listened, and I noticed one thing: the ones who were doing this were scowling. They not only sounded mean, but they looked mean.
I let them go on for a few minutes, then I leaned back in my chair and said, “What is wrong with y’all?” They looked at me like I had three heads; but it got their attention. One of them asked me what I meant, and I said this:
“Y’all look like you’ve been sucking on a bushel of lemons. Where is your joy?”
In my experience, the tendency to be negative seems to be high among Christians. I have had more Christian women (and men) give me the neck twist and eye roll than I care to count. And trust me, I have done the same to others.
Where is our joy?
I don’t know about you, but I have had the tendency to take on the characteristics of those people that I choose to surround myself with. As I grow stronger in Christ, I know that it is His characteristics that I must take on, not the people around me.
I have been one of the nastiest, most sarcastic people that you would ever want to meet. I had a smart comment for everything, and I could neck twist and eye roll with the best of them. I had excuses for it too - my parents got divorced, life wasn’t fair, I was broke, etc.
You name it, I could blame it.
And I loved to be in a group like this. It was a challenge to make a smarter comment than another person, to get the best of someone, to be “right” about everything. I would feed on it.
But as I began to grow, this type of behavior started to irritate me, especially my own. I would feel guilty about things I said to people (conviction), and when I heard others saying hurtful things, it would hurt me, even if they weren’t saying them to me. As I studied Scripture, I began to see that this was not how God wants us to be.
Galatians 5:22-26 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
The fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.
I didn’t see any lemons in there, did you?
Jesus addressed this with the scribes and Pharisees when they asked him about the ritual of washing hands before eating. They were more concerned with the ritual than the cleanliness; and Jesus knew this and had the answer for them:
Matthew 15:7-20: Ye hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoreth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying? But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up. Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. Then answered Peter and said unto him, Declare unto us this parable. And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without understanding? Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.
The things which come out of our mouths come from our hearts. If all of our comments and interactions are filled with negativity and hurtfulness, then these are the things which dwell in our hearts.
But what should be in our hearts?
Psalm 119:11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
What should be in our minds?
Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
When we fill our minds and hearts with God’s Word, and keep our minds on good and virtuous things, our actions will follow. Our attitudes and mouths will express what dwells in our hearts.
Matthew Henry says: "In these things he (Paul) proposes himself to them for an example (Those things which you have learned, and received, and heard and seen in me, do - Philippians 4:9). Observe, Paul's doctrine and life were of a piece. What they saw in him was the same thing with what they heard from him. He could propose himself as well as his doctrine to their imitation. It gives a great force to what we say to others when we can appeal to what they have seen in us." (Matthew Henry's Commentary)
Remember our theme that keeps coming up about the True Journey? Walking the talk? This is what Paul did. Paul is saying, “Look at me. I’m not just talking. I am walking. I am doing what I am saying. What you have seen me do, do also.”
Come back tomorrow for part 2!
I had prayed for myself and this group, that we would come together as sisters in Christ and work together for the cause of His Kingdom. But I didn’t know quite how to handle the topic of negativity without causing a riot.
We gathered together one Saturday for our monthly meeting, and it was the same. I tried to gain control of the conversation, but even during our devotional time, some of them were making smart comments to each other, being sarcastic, and criticizing each other’s ideas. I watched and listened, and I noticed one thing: the ones who were doing this were scowling. They not only sounded mean, but they looked mean.
I let them go on for a few minutes, then I leaned back in my chair and said, “What is wrong with y’all?” They looked at me like I had three heads; but it got their attention. One of them asked me what I meant, and I said this:
“Y’all look like you’ve been sucking on a bushel of lemons. Where is your joy?”
In my experience, the tendency to be negative seems to be high among Christians. I have had more Christian women (and men) give me the neck twist and eye roll than I care to count. And trust me, I have done the same to others.
Where is our joy?
I don’t know about you, but I have had the tendency to take on the characteristics of those people that I choose to surround myself with. As I grow stronger in Christ, I know that it is His characteristics that I must take on, not the people around me.
I have been one of the nastiest, most sarcastic people that you would ever want to meet. I had a smart comment for everything, and I could neck twist and eye roll with the best of them. I had excuses for it too - my parents got divorced, life wasn’t fair, I was broke, etc.
You name it, I could blame it.
And I loved to be in a group like this. It was a challenge to make a smarter comment than another person, to get the best of someone, to be “right” about everything. I would feed on it.
But as I began to grow, this type of behavior started to irritate me, especially my own. I would feel guilty about things I said to people (conviction), and when I heard others saying hurtful things, it would hurt me, even if they weren’t saying them to me. As I studied Scripture, I began to see that this was not how God wants us to be.
Galatians 5:22-26 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
The fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.
I didn’t see any lemons in there, did you?
Jesus addressed this with the scribes and Pharisees when they asked him about the ritual of washing hands before eating. They were more concerned with the ritual than the cleanliness; and Jesus knew this and had the answer for them:
Matthew 15:7-20: Ye hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoreth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying? But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up. Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. Then answered Peter and said unto him, Declare unto us this parable. And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without understanding? Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.
The things which come out of our mouths come from our hearts. If all of our comments and interactions are filled with negativity and hurtfulness, then these are the things which dwell in our hearts.
But what should be in our hearts?
Psalm 119:11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
What should be in our minds?
Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
When we fill our minds and hearts with God’s Word, and keep our minds on good and virtuous things, our actions will follow. Our attitudes and mouths will express what dwells in our hearts.
Matthew Henry says: "In these things he (Paul) proposes himself to them for an example (Those things which you have learned, and received, and heard and seen in me, do - Philippians 4:9). Observe, Paul's doctrine and life were of a piece. What they saw in him was the same thing with what they heard from him. He could propose himself as well as his doctrine to their imitation. It gives a great force to what we say to others when we can appeal to what they have seen in us." (Matthew Henry's Commentary)
Remember our theme that keeps coming up about the True Journey? Walking the talk? This is what Paul did. Paul is saying, “Look at me. I’m not just talking. I am walking. I am doing what I am saying. What you have seen me do, do also.”
Come back tomorrow for part 2!
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