Well, Hey Clyde!

The last posting left us at the hospital with me heading back to my room. I have to admit, once I woke up, I don't remember a whole lot else about that day or night. I have been told that I said some pretty funny things, though.

One thing that I do remember is that as they were rolling me back into my room, I looked up and saw my associate pastor, Clyde, standing there. My mom told me that I waved at him and said, "Well, hey Clyde!" and Clyde said, "Well, she knows who I am, so she's okay".

It's amazing to me that I don't remember a lot of things about the hospital after surgery. Maybe it was the meds they had me on...maybe it was just so much going on that I couldn't process it all...but maybe it was God's amazing grace that allowed me to rest not only my body but my mind those few days.

It makes me think about my past and my sin, and how Jesus sees those things. I heard a story once about a nun who told a priest that Jesus spoke to her, audibly, as if in a conversation. Of course, the priest did not believe her and told her that the next time Jesus spoke to her, to ask Him one question. The priest said to her, "Ask Jesus what sins I confessed in my last confession". She told the priest that she would.

The next day, she came back to the priest and told him that she had spoken with Jesus again. The priest, still doubting, said to her,"Did you ask Jesus was sins I confessed?" She said, "Yes, I did". The priest said, "And what did He say?" The nun looked at the priest warmly, smiled, and said, "He said 'I can't remember'."

Sweet forgiveness...Jesus doesn't remember our sins once we are forgiven. He doesn't remember our past before we came to Him.

But we're not that way with each other, are we? Just like my mom and my friends had to remind me of the things I said and did in the hospital, we can take this to a different level in our Christian lives. We want to measure our sin against other people's sin...we want to remind each other how bad we are...we want to hold people in the past...

The things that Jesus doesn't remember, we don't want to let people forget. Why? To make us feel better about ourselves. I am struggling right now with someone who insists on reminding me of everything that I have ever done wrong. And every time I think we are okay and we've settled things between us, he shows up and dredges it all up again. Every time I think I can trust him again, he shows up and proves that I can't. I personally don't have time for that kind of drama in my life - it reminds me of the Pharisees.

I choose to live in the mercy and grace of Jesus, whose death on the cross covered all my sins. If mercy and grace don't exist, then neither does Jesus. The Gospel is the mercy and grace of a loving God who sacrificed His only Son for a world that didn't deserve it. Not letting each other out of our past and our sin just cheapens that grace.

It's just what's on my mind today.