This picture was taken by a friend of mine at probably my favorite place on Earth, Camp Little Crossroads (aka Crossroads Camp and Conference Center; I prefer to remain old school LOL). One thing that always calms me is water - whether it's at Crossroads, or sitting by the Rockfish River, or being overwhelmed by the vastness of the ocean and it's waves. No matter where I am watching the water, one thing is for sure. Each wave brings something new.
My life this year has been like the waves in the water - each moment is bringing something new, something uncertain. As I mentioned in my last post, we have dealt with many deaths in my family this year, which brings about a special kind of grief - the loss of someone we love. Death also brings about changes - our loved ones being gone change things, like where we might live, where we celebrate holidays, who we go to when we hurt...we also face our own mortality when the family seems to be getting smaller and smaller.
Before August 7, 2012, I had never faced a personal health crisis. But on that day, I took my first ride in an ambulance to the ER at Martha Jefferson Hospital. I was diagnosed with diverticulitis that had abscessed. God sent me the best surgeon ever, Dr. Andrew Bailey, and he explained the treatment options, with worse case scenario being major surgery and a colostomy. I was admitted to MJH and started on antibiotics. Two days later, after some different kind of pain, it was discovered that my bowel had perforated. I was rushed into the worst case scenario - major surgery and a colostomy.
There were so many God moments during the hospitalization, and over the next postings, I want to share with you how God showed up and showed off; today, I want to share my OR experience.
Everything happened so fast, but when I went into the operating room, I was completely calm, completely at peace. See, people were praying for me and with me. Prior to surgery, I had a phone call from my friend, Laverne, who prayed with me, a visit from my friend, Billie, who prayed with me, and my friend and colleague, Ruby, who not only prayed, but helped them roll me to the OR.
People were rushing around me, and I remember saying to God, "If I wake up in Heaven with You, that's ok. If I wake up upstairs with my family and friends, that's ok, too. I'm good either way". Complete peace. Then, in the midst of this chaos going on around me, someone walked over to me and took my hand. I didn't know if she was an angel, a nurse, a doctor or what. She had the kindest eyes, and even though she had on a surgical mask, I could see her smile. She said, "I'm here, and I'm going to be here with you through this." Again, complete peace. I remember looking up at a man standing next to me, then sleep.
It seemed almost immediately (although it was a few hours later) that I opened my eyes, and I saw a three headed woman standing over me. I joked and told my pastor that I had read in the Bible that some of the cheribim and seraphim have multiple faces, so I didn't know immediately if I was in Heaven or still at the hospital. But I blinked a few times, and she had one face, and she checked me and then sent me back to my room where my family and friends were waiting for me.
You know the cool thing? If I was in Heaven when I woke up, I still would have had a group of family and friends waiting for me...grandparents, Dad, and those who had recently gone on ahead of me.
The doctor in the ER told me that he couldn't believe that I was smiling and laughing as sick as I was. The 10 days in the hospital, people said, "You seem so happy...how can you be that happy being this sick?" One of my friends who was there when they took me to surgery said, "You just walked over to that gurney and got on, like a brave soldier."
I have one answer for that, friends...it's called Jesus Christ.
I can't say I wasn't scared. I feared many things that I might have had to endure and may still have to endure as I face more surgery. But I know that God is with me, and that either way, I'm going to be okay. My faith in Jesus will allow me to endure what I have to endure while here on this Earth, and my faith in Jesus will allow me to live for eternity with Him when I leave this Earth.
God gave me this verse during my recovery:
2 Corinthians 4: 16-18: Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward [man] is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding [and] eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen [are] temporary, but the things which are not seen [are] eternal.
So as the waves come, and I experience my "light afflictions", I will praise Him through it all.
God's got this. God's got me. And He's not gonna let me go.
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